Wednesday, October 2, 2013

2:00 reflections - taken for what it is

Ah, those middle of the night, can't sleep, not much else to do, gonna' regret this all day tomorrow, kind of nights!! Having one right now.  Not sure if the brain work is more on target or completely off the wall, but it's sure working overtime!

I know I'm not alone in the "feeling completely overwhelmed" category.  Nothing major on any level, nothing in my life to complain about, but all of these little things that are starting to feel like a mountain - afraid that I am really going to snap at the next person who throws another meeting or request my way!

Without going into any details (in case the day brain actually does regret the night brain's thinking!) I'm looking for solutions.  Categories-

*celebrate life party
*teaching control
*love bombs
*SH future
*trip #2
*mystery worry #1
*mystery worry #2, 3 and 4.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

...and the strength to do it with grace and thoughtfulness.

- tackle one objective to be able to cross it off...
- make a list... again, cross it off.  For me, the visual is empowering, plus I accomplish more.

I frequently hear, "I don't know how you do it all."  Well, here's the secret - I don't.  And at times, I find it all completely overwhelming!  I want to do it all.  I love every smidget of it.  But I don't do it alone.  I think that's why I stumble though.  I need a lot of help and support to keep this wonderful mission moving forward.  I understand the busyness of others, I understand others' priorities are different, I understand my own obsession is probably extreme.  I also understand the importance of this mission. I understand that lives are being affected by what we do, not just for the moment, but beyond.  I understand the ripple effect.  I understand that this mission is much larger than me, that this really is something God has put on me.  I also understand that I need to trust God to handle all of this; I don't have to control everything.... That one just came to me.  Finding peace through reflection.

None of this is meant to be a reflection on any of you.  I am the one searching my soul, finding my way, exploring my heart.  I completely recognize the wonderful ness that surrounds me.  Searching to  lighten my heavy heart.  Too many recent deaths, too long of weeks, too many obligations.  Even breathing time is interrupted these days.  I think I need a special "me" place!

No worries, this too shall pass.  Pity party is turning into a fix-it party.  Have a great day, and find time for yourself.

No comments:

Post a Comment