Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Let it go...

Let it go...we don't have to control everything.
You're a tool...
Be organized...have your ducks in a row.
Have a plan...what's next?  how do you want this? where should this go? what time? what if?...
Voices in my head....(no straight jacket yet, though!)
Balance. Breathe. 

So much bigger than me...feeling pretty inept. 

We received a note from a gentleman today thanking us for a love bomb he received.  This gentleman was told he had only 6 months if he discontinued treatment.  He chose the 6 months.  1 year later, God has chosen a different option.  He said that he knows lymphoma will still be the cause of death, but the timing is in God's hands.  His letter was filled with such peace.  I have so much to learn from this one page note.  He sent a "small token" (his words) of gratitude for his gift...he has no idea how large it truly was, not only the check, but the letter.  Each of us does not know God's timing.  I am not alone in the desire to control and worry over everything.  While I still believe we are all His tools and have to act, turning over control and worry would result in more peace.  I will try.

This also reminds me of the power of a letter.  Not a form letter, but words on paper.  Cards, notes.  Stamps.  (You're welcome mrs. Postmaster!). I love to get real mail; I imagine others do, too.  I will try.

Understanding.  What's important to me may not be that important to you.  I get it, because to be honest, I'm not always that into your topics either.  People think I'm reserved - not really, I just don't want to watch your eyes glaze over when I talk.  If you're interested, please ask me.  I promise, I'm more than happy to share.  I get that my passions may not be yours, though.  I will understand your excuses.  Or, I will try.

I will try.  That's really all I can do.  I have areas of strengths and areas of weaknesses.  Lots of those, really.  But I have a pretty big heart so hopefully that helps with some of those shortcomings.  And, I will try.  

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